Sunday, March 10, 2019

I need MENTAL clarity and so do YOU!

Because of surgery I recently endured a forced hiatus, a pause in my life that showed me I need to embrace mental clarity.

Do you ever try and fall asleep yet your mind is still racing? 

Are you sitting in a meeting or church thinking about a thousand other things rather than focusing on the presenter? 

Are you mid sentence and completely forget your thought?  

Have you ever forgotten what your kids said even though they only said it 10 minutes ago?

Then my friend, you too need mental clarity. Thoughts are natural, there is NO escaping them. But there are times when they overwhelm and start to control us in a negative and NOT positive way. If I don’t carve space for mental clarity, I find myself complaining and competing in ways that are NOT healthy.

One of the best pieces of advice I can offer myself is to build in more pause moments in my life. Life for me moves rapidly. In the past six weeks I’ve traveled to Dallas twice, New Jersey and Toronto. Over and over agin my thoughts try to overrun me.

How do I turn it OFF?

You don't, but NOW is the perfect time to harness a new way of thinking. March madness is here. Below are a few things that recently supported me in harnessing mental clarity:

  1. Take deep breaths (deep breathing helps lower blood pressure)
  2. Take a walk (at the suggestion of my doctor, I take an afternoon walk to decompress from my work day)
  3. Turn OFF the 24 hour news cycle (stay WOKE, but don't listen to the constant 24 hours news banter on TV)
  4. Limit social media (seeing what everyone else is doing contributes to negative and discontent feeling about ourselves - limit your time)
  5. Turn OFF notifications (STOP the constant chiming of notifications from every app coming to your phone and smartwatch, it is TOO distracting)
My sunset walks SAVE my sanity!

These are a few things that helped me quiet the voices in my head. Focusing on my greatest life priorities actually yields less time to be distracted by my negative inner critic. I can’t imitate trying to be someone else, that’s exhausting. I’m going to show up in the world as the best Roslyn I can be. Free of wild thoughts and embracing mental clarity to make more effective decisions. CHOOSE today to sit still and breathe. (Posted by Roslyn)

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Parenting Success!

During a recent family meal, we each went around the table and shared one thing we loved about each other. Typically my 16 and 10 year old are on each other's nerves, so it warmed my heart to hear them being pleasant to each other. They were also surprised to hear each other's response.

Do you ever ask similar questions around your dinner table? If not, try it.

My youngest during vacation
 As much as it was a blessing to hear them talk about each other, their answer to me was beyond words. My 10 year old started out first. I was pretty sure he was going to compliment my cooking. I've always felt like I take "rock star" status in his mind because I enjoy cooking his favorites on a regular basis. His world revolves around sports, video games, sleep, reading books, and eating. Typical kid stuff.

Instead of him listing my participation in any of those activities, he quickly let me know that he loves how I teach him God's word.

Wait, what?

He actually likes our Bible study time together? Even though he sighs and even complains when it comes time to read his devotional, he LIKES it. Matter of fact, he LOVES it!

His sister then echoed the same sentiment as a reason why she loves me.  Oh my goodness! Their words nearly bought me to tears.

From the time they were born, I've always prayed that they would develop their own relationship with Jesus! It's my definition of parenting success. Sure, education is great. Where they attend college is spectacular.

Loving on Jesus for themselves is priceless!

No matter how much you think they aren't listening, they are. Keep giving them God's word no matter what and by any means necessary. Here's some quick examples of how to give them Jesus:

  1. Pray over your children before they go to school. Have them pray for you as well.
  2. Teach them scriptures and have them memorize them.
  3. Pray with them again before bedtime.
  4. Text them scriptures throughout the day to encourage them through rough times.
  5. Allow them to see you reading the Bible on a regular basis. (Be the example)
  6. Attend church with them.

When you raise your children with knowledge of God's love, it sets them up for major success! It also provides a wonderful promise to us as parents. Just try it and see what happens. (Posted by Renee)

Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Sunday, January 27, 2019

This is why you are stressed!

What happens if I just get in my car and drive?
Where will I end up?
What will I see along the way?

This is how many of us are pacing through life - NO plan and NO end goal in mind. I truly believe this is the reason that so many of us are stressed. Life is just happening all around us and we are numb and overwhelmed through all of it.

Remember that feeling when you said, "Happy New Year" just a FEW days ago. You said to yourself, "this is my year". It was less than a month ago that many of us committed to ourselves that this year would be different. Do NOT let that optimism die. February 1st is this week and we can't afford to waste anymore time.

For you to know where you are going, you must develop a PLAN. 

Not just a broad plan but a very specific plan that will yield RESULTS. During my goal setting time, I like to create plans that are S.M.A.R.T.

S = Specific
M = Measurable
A = Applicable
R = Relevant
T = Time Bound

When you build this type of plan, chances are you will achieve your goal. Here are examples of BROAD goals:

I want to lose weight. 
I want to be debt free. 
I want to go back to school.

Most of the time these BROAD goals will lead us to the end of the year without seeing any results. We get SO frustrated that our goals haven't become reality. We can get our mouths to SAY anything, but if we don't intentionally plan to take action, NOTHING happens.

Now, here are some examples of S.M.A.R.T. goals:

  • I will stop eating french fries for one week. I will walk for 15 minutes, at any pace, after every meal (that adds up to almost 45 extra minutes of exercise).

This goal is achievable because you give yourself a timeframe to complete a portion of your larger goal. At the end of the week you can reward yourself for achieving your milestone and that positive reinforcement will build your confidence in knowing, you can do it again. Before you know it you have lost weight and feeling so proud of your accomplishment.

  • I will use my tax refund check in March to pay down my credit card. I will hold off on any purchases over $50 for two weeks. That means no online or in store shopping for 2 weeks.
This goal is specific and gives a time for the goal to be completed. Once you achieve a milestone, keep giving yourself another relevant goal and see how quickly you can chip away at your debt.

  • I will call the community college to research the continuing education programs in my local area.
Again, large goals can seem overwhelming. Break it down into BITE size pieces and then you will start to see results. Going back to school starts with researching on the internet and then picking up the phone if you have more questions. It's that simple.

Setting that goal gives you a ROADMAP to where you are going. It's not too late to start that goal planning for 2019. CHIP away and start to see results. You can DO it, you are worth it. (posted by Roslyn)

**Please note the above examples are just that - an example.

Sunday, January 20, 2019

3 Ways I lost 21 pounds!

Two years ago I was at my heaviest weight. If I would've put my pinky toe on the scale, it would register 200 pounds. My blood pressure was on the rise and I just didn't feel healthy. Now, with that being said, I was still a beautiful black woman. I just had a few more curves and edges.

When I visited with my doctor for my yearly physical and to discuss next steps regarding my blood pressure, she suggested that I decrease my sodium intake. I quickly realized that it was poison to my body. So many foods that I loved were high in sodium. I remember looking at the sodium content for a grilled chicken salad that I frequently enjoyed at a local restaurant and it exceeded 1100 mg of sodium! That's almost a daily supply of sodium in one salad.

At my doctor's suggestion, I decided to make small changes. Over time, those small changes led to 21 pounds of weight lost in a 2 year period.

Here's what worked for me:

  1. Decreased my sodium intake
  2. Decreased my food portions
  3. Increased my amount of exercise

  • Decreasing my sodium included eating more foods prepared at home. For the 1st 30 days I ate mostly whole foods. I wanted to cut out all processed foods. It was amazing how much of a difference it made.

  • I love food so cutting my portions was probably the hardest part of the journey.  I don't really believe in cutting out any major food groups because I love protein just as much as I love veggies and carbs. They all serve a purpose. 

    • Here's some examples of how I limited my portions.....If I ate a burger, I would only eat one side of the bun. If I ordered a meal at a restaurant, I would only eat half of it. Instead of eating 2 pieces of toast at breakfast, I ate only one. 

  • Not only did I increase the number of days I worked out, I also varied my workouts. I've always enjoyed exercising so this wasn't a struggle for me. Whether it was running, striking a pose in hot yoga or hip hop dancing, I chose workouts that were fun and engaging.

Don't ever doubt the power of small changes! 21 pounds in 2 years isn't even 1 pound a month, but over time, it all adds up to greatness. Give yourself attainable weight loss goals. Start small. Walking just 10 minutes after breakfast, lunch and dinner adds up to a 30 minute walk in a day. 

YOU CAN DO IT! (Posted by Renee)

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

This IS Our Year - 2019!


Renee and I have declared that 2019 is OUR year. This year we celebrate 8 years of blogging. Eight years of being inspired by YOU, our faithful readers. We receive encouraging comments on social media and also in person about how this blog has been a blessing. We are deeply grateful for YOU choosing to read while commuting, sitting at work, sitting on your couch, sitting at the doctor's office, or even reading while on the treadmill.

This year we are committing to give inspiring advice that has helped us in the past. Many mistakes have been made. Renee and I have learned that if we don't acknowledge them, learn and heal from them, we will end up making the exact SAME mistake.

During 2019, we will cover topics such as healthy eating, motivation, mental clarity, parenting, financial wealth and exercise. Each of these topics have great meaning in our lives. We want to inspire you to constantly evolve and elevate as you move through the rest of 2019.

The lessons learned in 2018 are bountiful. Renee and I both landed in a place of complete and total rest at the end of the year due to medical surgeries. It wasn't planned, it's just the way God ordered our steps. During that time we had a chance to sit still and listen to how God was speaking to us collectively but also individually.


This 1st post of 2019 is all about your ONE word for the year. It's a word that you will use in every situation you encounter. It's a word that will ground you and keep you balanced through the ups and downs of 2019.

Last year my word was - EXPLORE. I was facing so many new chapters in my life and I didn't want to be afraid to explore a new adventure.

This year my word is - EVOLVE. I truly believe this world is changing faster than we realize. My family is dynamically maturing. Soon I will be an empty nester facing retirement. How will I continue to evolve in each of these situations?

God is making all things NEW, so I choose to continue to evolve and grow. Those things that stay the same will eventually die. I want to be on the infinite path of growing.

What about you?

What's your ONE word for 2019?

Don't make that list of resolutions that is SO hard to achieve. Just think about ONE word for your BEST year. (Posted by Roslyn)

This is our BEST year.

From our family to yours - Happy New Year!

Don't forget to subscribe to our blog to have our post sent to your email inbox.

Sunday, December 23, 2018

We Are Making Enemies

The Christmas season is filled with people literally rolling over you just to get that perfect gift for their friend or family member. If you think I’m kidding, just try to park your car at a mall parking lot today on Christmas Eve.

Is this really the happiest season of all?

If we are honest in the last days of 2018, we ALL are motivated by SELFISH desires. For example, the craving to take constant selfies and post them on social media feeds that craving. You might say, "Roslyn I’m not selfish".

Here’s a simple question - When you are in a group photo who do you look at first? I bet the answer is YOU. We look at ourselves first because if we don’t look attractive enough we want the entire group to take another picture...SELFISH.

Here’s another example - we sit in the car line at school. Once we pick up OUR kids we purposely disobey all the school speed limits and ignore traffic signs just to get home quicker...SELFISH.

As we wrap up this year and reflect on how we pursued our goals, let’s set our hearts for a newer path in 2019. A world with more people treating others the way they want to be treated leads to a happier world. We can ALL contribute to making our communities stronger and healthier than they are now.

We can ALL have a stronger commitment to sow little seeds of gratitude and kindness, then one day a large harvest of happiness will enter our world again.

MERRY CHRISTMAS from our families to yours!

Renee and I truly wish you a holiday of joy, FUN and peace. Treasure the time with friends and family. Enjoy the laughter of the season. Please be willing to pray for those that are having a hard holiday without their loved one nearby. There are so many people within our communities that are lonely during the Christmas season. Find a way to thank our military families that consistently sacrifice and put their lives on the line so we can be free.

For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

~‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭9:6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Sunday, December 9, 2018

The Pain that Stayed

Three weeks ago I woke up to the most intense pain in my life.

Piercing. Gut wrenching. Knock you down to your knees pain.

More than the labor pains combined with both of my kids. Pain so vivid I will never forget it. I could go on and on but for the sake of time, I'll move on. Coupled with the pain was the undeniable feeling that I could faint at any moment.

I couldn't walk. I couldn't lay down. The pain continued to pierce.

Typically if I feel pain I take pain meds to make it go away so I can move on with my day. I have a small tolerance for pain so this was way more than I ever wanted to feel. Oh, did I forget to share that this all happened at 6am in the morning and I was scheduled to speak on stage at my church at 11:15 am. The topic was, "Life vs. Chaos". This was true chaos and I needed my Healer to rescue me.

Last day of hospital stay

After rolling on the floor in pain, I woke my husband and we headed to the emergency room because I needed the pain to STOP but instead, it stayed! The ER visit started me down a path of some of the most chaotic moments of my life.

I took a lesson from that day that I won't quickly forget. In those moments, I realized that my pain served a major purpose. It awakened me to the fact that something was terribly wrong and I needed help. Especially since, outside of that pain, there wasn't anything that foreshadowed the turn of events.

I couldn't mask the pain. I couldn't move beyond the pain. It was the pain that "stayed" and thus, saved my life.

That pain forced me to seek medical assistance.

Although we never want to feel hurt or pain, at times, it serves a major purpose. It illuminates the fact that something isn't right physically or even emotionally. I clung to my belief that God was with me and He would see me through the entire situation. Thank God the situation that caught me off guard, didn't catch my Savior by surprise. 

Some of you are experiencing pain right now. It's intense and you keep ignoring it.


Seek the assistance you need knowing that God is right there with you. We're reminded of this fact in I Peter 4:12-19. It shares that in this life, we will have trouble, pain and chaotic  situations but God is right there with us. You are not alone. In your painful moments, here are some verses to comfort and encourage:

I Peter 5:9-10:

9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 10And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Deuteronomy 31:8

8The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Psalms 50:15

15and call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me."

Psalms 6:2

2Have mercy on me, LORD, for I am faint; heal me, LORD, for my bones are in agony.

(Posted by Renee)