4 Tips for Raising Teenagers

My teenager!

It’s hard to believe that in just a few short months, my oldest child will enter into her 20’s. When she was a toddler, I remembered hearing horror stories about raising teenagers. I’m thankful that I always rejected that notion. I never came into agreement with it. I do agree that parenting is never easy and raising teens is no different. Despite its challenges, I’m thankful for the experience of being a mother.

Here’s a few things I’ve learned over the years:

·                     Surrender to the process.

We have an obligation to raise our children in the training and instruction of the Lord. Even with that foundational training, parenting is full of ups and downs. Don’t have any expectations that you will be a perfect parent or that your kids will be perfect.

There’s NO such thing.

You will make mistakes and so will your teenagers. It’s all part of the process and you will both be better for it. You’ve laid the foundation with them, trust God to do the rest.

Proverbs 22:6”

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

 

·                     Embrace relationship changes.

For so many years in my children’s lives, I controlled so much about their day. When they ate, what they ate, bath time, play dates and so much more. During the teenage years, your relationship with your young adults will evolve into more of a consultant role. They will look to you for advice (at times), but the days will quickly fade from you controlling every part of their lives.

Believe it or not, that’s a good thing. They need to learn how to handle all types of situations before they are thrust out of the nest and living on their own.

 

·                     Lead by example.

You will be surprised how large an influence you have over your teenagers just by being their example. Sometimes you don’t have to say a word. If you want them to use their phones less, try using your phone less. You want your teen to read more, let them see you reading more. If you desire for them to get outdoors and be more active, let them see you being active. I’m reminded of Proverbs 23:26, “My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.”

 

·                     Find your village.

We were created to be in relationship with others. Make sure to find your village. Your village will be the community of believers that will help speak life and good instruction into your teenagers. Maybe it’s a church small group, a Coach or a mentor that you trust. Allow God to lead you to the right community. Teenagers probably won’t talk to you in some of their hardest moments, but they will talk to someone. Strategically do what you can to help mold and shape the village of adults that will connect and share with your teens.

 

I want to leave you with a verse that’s been a staple in my life for years. May it provide you encouragement in life’s most difficult parenting moments.

Philippians 4:6-8

⁶ Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell Him every detail of your life, ⁷ then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Jesus Christ. ⁸ Keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always. (Posted by Renee)