Sunday, June 22, 2014

Why Did I Get Married?

One of my favorite movies is "Why Did I Get Married?"  Even though it came out seven years ago, I still watch it every chance I get.  I can recite most of the lines in the movie so you know I was thrilled to see it playing numerous times this weekend on the BET network. 


In the movie, there's friction between the couples and they are forced to think about, "Why did I get married?"  During one of the conversations between the husbands, they make reference to an "80/20" rule.  There's a thought that you will only receive 80% of what you need from your marriage.  When someone comes along offering the 20% you're not receiving, it's easy to think that the grass is greener on the other side.  Some will find it easy to leave the 80% even though they will only receive 20% of what they need in the new relationship.  Watching the movie's reruns this weekend sparked a conversation between me and my husband. 

What do you NEED in your relationship?  What do you WANT in your relationship? 

When was the last time you asked your spouse or even fiancee that question?  If you're single, have you thought about your needs and wants so that you can share them with your future spouse?

It's essential to know what you want and what you need in a relationship.  What's a deal breaker for you if you aren't getting a certain need fulfilled?

17 years and counting!

It ended up being a great conversation that we hadn't discussed in quite awhile.  I thought I would share some of the needs we have of each other.

  • Spiritual Foundation

  • Trust

  • Respect

  • Communication

  • Feeling loved

My additional needs:

  • Affirmation

  • Protection

Marriage is the most powerful partnership in this world and too many marriages are breaking up and they don't need to.  God created us to be in relationship.  He created marriage and thought so highly of it, that it was used as a symbol of our relationship with Christ.  Read about its reference in Isaiah 54:5:

Your real husband is the one who made you.  His name is the Lord All-Powerful.  The Holy One of Israel is your Protector, and he is the God of all the Earth!
My hope with this post is to inspire a conversation.  Get to talking! (Posted by Renee)

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