Sunday, October 20, 2013

Pathway To Healing

The smile you see is not always the "happy" I feel inside.

Can you feel this pain?  

My outburst or erratic behavior scream to show you the hurt I'm enduring.

How can I make you understand?

Am I in this alone?

I'm sinking into a dark abyss of depression.

Exhaustion & nausea after surgery
If you've ever experienced pain, one of the above statements might have applied to you.  You endure hurt with many questions, that oftentimes never get answered.  The pain could be financial, physical or mental - in some cases, it is all three.  Loneliness, confusion, sadness and anger are some of the emotions felt during times of pain.

I catch myself smiling deep within my soul because, through God's grace, I discovered the other side of pain-healing.  When you linger with pain for a certain length of time you start to adapt it as your normal state of being.  This is the danger zone, because healing will eventually come.

Don't nurture or become comfortable with your state of pain.  For example, those walking through divorce shouldn't take that initial pain to mean, "it will always be this way."  Life is short but our experiences are many.  One moment we are elated and the next minute a phone call delivers the most devastating news of our life.

This time last year, I was enduring PAIN.  This will shock many because I pride myself on being "Ms. Suzy Sunshine".  I remain "wildly" confidential when going through trials but hope my story inspires someone to keep fighting and believing. I have felt the need to stay in bed just a bit longer because I didn't want to face what a new day would bring.  Numerous trips to the doctor became annoying and routine.  I detest waiting rooms, needles, lab results, checking vital signs, filling out paperwork, only to spend 10-15 minutes with a physician.  But I needed answers. The current track I was on wasn't going to end well if I didn't get help.

20 pounds gained in this photo
(Roslyn in white)
I felt trapped.  Days turned into months, and months into over a year of feeling helpless - wondering if ANY relief was in sight.  During that process I was put on medicine that caused me to instantly gain 20 pounds in less than two months.  This was the most devastating to my self esteem.  I work extremely hard eating well and exercising so I can control my weight.  Watching my body slowly add these extra pounds truly made me sink lower into feeling out of control.

Thankfully now, I am on the other side which is HEALING.  The smile on my face lately is simply because I am living without pain.  But remember, even when I had the pain I stayed true to smiling on the outside.  

What will you do while you wait for healing?  

Patience increases and grows our character and fortitude. Patience while in pain is never easy. But a necessary process of us growing spiritual muscles.

How will  you ever know how strong you are if you haven't been tested?

Two surgeries this year and huge moral support from my immediate family helped me journey to healing as a warrior.  I'm not weak, but strong in the strength of Christ.  God, my Creator, loves me.  Each day He shows me a little bit more of His awesome power.  Stand strong, choose to become a warrior and fight until your journey crosses over to HEALING! (Posted by Roslyn)

..."In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world"...John 16:33

Feeling complete freedom from pain!

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